Starless
by Bad Kitty Gil
Summary: When Gil tries to end an abusive relationship after meeting the love of his life, he finds that breaking ties with his vile lover will not be so easy... Written for 20 Themes on livejournal. GilRaam and GilShydeman
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the characters mentioned in this fanfiction. They all belong to Mineko Ohkami, damn it…

**Author's Notes**: Hello all. Welcome to this little story. I'm sort of writing this for the 20 themes challenge on livejournal. None of the themes come through in this chapter but I guess that **EmotionallyShatterd** could fit in here somewhere…

The main pairing for this story is supposed to be Gil/Raam (or Laam, whatever abbreviation that suits you.) but in all actuality, you probably will see more Gil/Shydeman than anything. Don't run away, though!

Oh yeah, this is not one of those 'OMG, it's so fluffy!' stories. There's a LOT of angsty stuff and all of that crap. There will be some fluffy moments though….

This story has a PG-13 rating but I would rate the first couple of paragraphs in this chapter R for some… stuff. You are warned.

Kudos to who can guess where I got the title for this story from! **Hint**: It's a song by a kickass group whose name begins with a C and ends with an E…

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**Starless**

Chapter 1

"Kitty."

I could feel my heart sink as my detestable pet name escaped past his moist, slightly parted lips in a guttural groan, reverberating throughout the bedroom his satisfaction as he claimed me. I could feel his every movement; every gyration of his slim hips between my thighs and flutter of long eyelashes upon my scarred cheek sent frightful shivers up and down my spine. The bed creaked rather loudly with each of his lewd movements, combining with the sounds of prolonged moans and my pitiful whimpering to cause quite a disturbing commotion.

"Kitty… My kitty cat!"

His hands, once tender and explorative, were fixed structures on my shoulders, his fingers rigid columns digging into my flesh. I detested each and every one of those fingers, tearing my skin open with their sharp nails. In fact, I hated the whole situation; the pleasure derived from our union of bodies was a bit one-sided and the only thing that came out of it for me was pain. In a way, I cherished these brief moments in time; this was the only time that I felt that he loved me, even though a niggling thought at the back of my mind kept reiterating the fact that he cared only about my body and what ecstasy could be obtained from it, not about my fragile mind. I knew that when the 'session' was over, the curses and abuse would start again, smothering the flame of my self-worth. Besides, what was I expecting? Who would love a hideous monster like me?

His hands left the temporary home of my shoulders and his fingers interlaced with my own, claiming my sweaty palms as their new abode. Long strands of finely spun spider webs draped across my exposed chest, mingling with my own thick, violet locks. His tongue left blazing trails of saliva down my burning neck as he feverishly sucked away at it, eliciting a strangled, horrified mew from the confines of my throat, giving truth to my cat-like namesake. His actions were beginning to irk me, bur I knew that I was helpless; nothing I could do would cease his desecration of my body, and it would only bring more trouble in the end. So, I allowed my mind to drift far away from the heated confines of the room and up into the indigo heavens, begging for the ceasing of my suffering. From my eye, I saw nothing and no answer, no divine intervention, was received. It was at that moment in time, that space in reality's vast expanse, that I knew that I was alone.

Suddenly, my lover removed himself from atop my body and situated himself next to me, his breath escaping from his lips in hurried, aggravated, gasps.

"God damn, kitty…"

My eyes cut over to his, and we engaged in an impromptu staring match for a minute, until his lips formed four commanding words.

"Get cleaned up, Gil."

I obeyed immediately and got up from the bed, jogging into the bedroom's adjoining bathroom on account of the cool, air-conditioned, air that hit my sweaty skin, chilling me to the bone. Once I entered the bathroom, I turned on the light and examined my reflection in the mirror, noticing the current changes from my usual appearance. My hair, usually moving freely and sticking out in every direction, was plastered to my scalp, deceiving my usual free-spirited nature. However, my frown remained constant, and the worried look in my golden eye was still there, as it was before and always shall remain. There was a time in my life where I was happy, living with my father Barl and little sister Fiji (1) in a small cottage by the woods but those times of rapture were over, and they were never to be repeated again as I long as I remained with my lover. But, wouldn't leaving hurt the man who 'loves' me so?

As I turned on the faucet and wet my washcloth, I looked at my lover in the mirror's reflection. His back was turned to me and from the looks of it, he was asleep, since his breathing pattern had slowed down drastically, matching the pace that I was very familiar with, due to my observations of him at rest. It looked like there was to be no cuddling tonight, no sharing of one's thoughts and orgasmic afterglow. I was quite used to this, however; there was no use in wanting what I couldn't have. I was in for another night of cold abyss, trying to comfort myself and control my body as it was wracked by powerful, ground-moving sobs. I knew that I deserved much better than this, but I was a fool in love—nothing, no amount of hitting or scolding words from a fiery tongue—could ever make me leave him. But I was getting ready to take back those words; there is only so much neglect that I can take.

Oh, Shydeman; why do you treat me this way?

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**Notes:**

To make the story flow easier when these two characters come into play, I changed it around a little. If you don't know, Barl is actually Gil's younger brother and Fiji is his niece.

**Author's notes:**

Well, how do you like it? Shydeman is pretty tame in this chapter, but his nastiness comes into play in the next chapter. Here is a pretty long preview…

_**Chapter 2**_

_**During the drive, the only thing that I was allowed to look at was my own feet—Shydeman had forbid me to look out any of the windows on the premise that I would be looking at another man. Little did he know, I was more content observing the wonders of Mother Nature—like leaves falling to the ground when a bird hops from branch to branch, or a cat pouncing on an unsuspecting insect, not flirting with eye candy that I saw out of a foggy passenger's side window. I also knew that prohibiting me from looking around would also make me 'oblivious' to Shydeman's wandering eye as he performed the action that I was not allowed to do. But, this was all about to end… I allowed a smile to grace my lips, raising the corners of my lips a half inch.**_

_**Big mistake.**_

"**_What in the hell is so funny?" Shydeman asked curiously, his right coming away from the steering wheel to cup my chin and raise my head upwards and to the left, forcing me to look at his Adonis-like profile. His eyes cut over to me for a second before returning to the road, demanding an immediate answer._**

"_**Nothing." The words escaped from my lips in a weak whisper as I tried to look down at my feet once again, finding comfort in staring at my reflection from my lustrous black loafers; but my lover's grip on my face was tenacious and I was forced to remain that way until he decided to let go. His eyes cut over to me once again and his lips curled up into a smile as he stopped the car, presumably at a red light.**_

"_**Well, keep it that way." He hissed, roughly shoving my face towards the passenger's side window, causing the right side of my face to impact the cold glass in a forceful manner.**_

**More Author's notes **The way this preview goes might not be the same in the chapter when I post it… It's really bad in my opinion… Oh yeah, if you want to read some more of my fanfiction, check out **Sick Sad Little World. **It's about… Rath… I co-wrote it with my friend DragonessFei so it's on her penname. You should check it out! Please? –obnoxious puppy eyes-


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I don't Dragon Knights, but you all probably know that by now…

**Author's Notes**: YES! I'm updating! Surprised, ne? The only reason this is so is that I'm waiting on my friend DragonessFei to finish her part on the story that we're co-writing. She's so darn slow… Oh yeah, the title for the story comes from Crossfade's song by the same name. You should really check out the lyrics if you're not familiar with the song, or better yet… BUY THE CD! Uh…yeah… By the way, thanks to all of the reviewers of the first chapter. I have never felt so loved… I would tell you guys what themes are covered in this chapter, but I don't have the list with me right now. I'm very unorganized…

Starless: Chapter 2

The car moved slowly in a loud, almost hypnotic hum as Shydeman drove through the crowded city streets, transporting me to my place of employment. I worked part time as a waiter at a small restaurant known only to the locals as the Toasted Dragon, which served favorites such as hamburgers and hot dogs to rowdy teenagers every afternoon. It never failed to perplex me why Shydeman allowed me to have a job, since it was the complete opposite of his usual controlling nature. It wasn't like he needed the measly pay that I eared, since he was the 'right-hand-man' to Nadil Kiramura, the undisputed leader of Draqueen's undercover crime syndicate. I never questioned his decision on the matter, however, since the time I spent at work was the only period that I was free from his unrelenting grasp, which was always a good thing for me.

During the drive, the only thing that I was allowed to look at was my own feet—Shydeman had forbid me to look out any of the windows on the premise that I would be looking at another man. Little did he know, I was more content observing the wonders of Mother Nature—such leaves falling to the ground when a bird hopped from branch to branch, or a cat pouncing on an unsuspecting insect, not flirting with eye candy that I saw out of a foggy passenger's side window. I also knew that prohibiting me from looking around would also make me 'oblivious' to Shydeman's wandering eyes as he performed the action that I was not allowed to do. However, this was all about to end… I allowed a smile to grace my lips, raising the corners of my lips a half inch.

Big mistake.

"What in the hell is so funny?" Shydeman asked curiously, his right coming away from the steering wheel to cup my chin and raise my head upwards and to the left, forcing me to look at his Adonis-like profile. His eyes cut over to me for a second before returning to the road, demanding an immediate answer.

"Nothing." The words escaped from my lips in a weak whisper as I tried to look down at my feet once again, finding comfort in staring at my reflection from my lustrous black loafers; but my lover's grip on my face was tenacious and I was forced to remain that way until he decided to let go. His eyes cut over to me once again and his lips curled up into a smile as he stopped the car, presumably at a red light.

"Well, keep it that way." He hissed, roughly shoving my face towards the passenger's side window, causing the right side of my face to impact the cold glass in a forceful manner.

Immediately, I began to feel a sharp pain radiate through my jawbone, but I knew that I couldn't show how I felt, since it would only result in more unwanted pain. I just kept my sore jaw on the chilled glass, hoping for the coldness of the window to have a therapeutic effect on my cheek. It was evident to me after about a minute that the chilling effect was quite the opposite of comforting, and I found myself resting my right cheek in my right hand.

"Are you hurt?" Shydeman asked quietly, violet eyes concentrating on the road. Usually, one would decipher that he was actually concerned about me, but I had heard him ask me this many times and no part of his tone of voice or body language gave the notion of him actually giving a damn.

"Well, if you would stop acting up all the time, I wouldn't have to hurt you."

My head bobbed once more in agreement, even though my mind thought otherwise. I already knew how to answer his redundant questions, take his many taunts in stride, and bottle up any hint of emotion. I was nothing more to him than an empty doll, a lifeless vessel whose only purpose of existence was to pleasure its owner. So, with all of this built-up knowledge, I kept my mouth shut and restrained my feelings for the rest of the trip.

It seemed as if hours had passed when we finally arrived at the Toasted Dragon's parking lot, but in all actuality, the whole experience had lasted only about fifteen minutes. I shyly thanked him for driving me and prepared to exit the car, but Shydeman pulled me back towards him and kissed me briefly on my left cheek. I was immediately pleased with the whole situation and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek also, but was stopped when he grabbed my face right above my chin and forced me to look in his eyes.

"Don't leave me."

"What?" I gasped as his grip began to tighten around my chin, cutting off the circulation to the lower half of my face.

"Don't leave me, Gil."

When he said my name, I knew that something was awry within his mind since he usually referred to me by my pet name 'Kitty'. Also, I had never heard him talk to me like this and I felt somewhat comforted by the fact that he seemed to care. More than likely, however, it was another scam that he was using to make me forgive him for what happened earlier in the car and I made sure that I didn't let his honeyed words get to me completely.

"I won't, Shydeman. I won't."

My right hand covered my mouth instinctively as I immediately regretted what I had just said. I was forbidden to call him by his name and had to refer to him 'Master' or 'Sir' since he believed that I was of a lower standard than he was. I believe that I was caught up in the moment and got a bit too comfortable with the situation, which led to my indiscretion. My heart prayed silently that he didn't catch the mishap, but was instantly saddened when his unusually docile face hardened to its usual expression.

"What did you just call me!" He snarled viciously, violet eyes narrowing to a dangerous level.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I just got up in the moment and-…"

My voice was instantly silenced when Shydeman let go of my chin and shoved me out of the car, causing me to fall head first onto the cold sidewalk. Luckily, I didn't feel any pain from my fall and I raised my head to look at my angry lover remorsefully, but discovered that he wasn't paying any attention to me. He quickly slammed the passenger's side door shut and quickly drove off, leaving me alone to fend for myself. One would usually expect me to be angry at him for what he had done, but I was so happy that he was gone that all harsh feelings towards him became null as I watched his red Porsche shrink to the size of a cherry on the horizon. I immediately pulled myself off of the ground and was almost scared to death when I felt a large hand rest itself on my shoulder.

"Hey there, Gil." A familiar male voice said cautiously, causing me to turn around. The chipper amber eyes of my best friend Ruwalk stared me in the face, causing my lips to curl up into a smile. Ruwalk and I had been friends since second grade and since then, we were almost inseparable, 'two peas in a pod', his mother called us. Since I met Shydeman, however, our relationship waned a bit, but we managed to keep our friendship alive. Like me, Ruwalk was a waiter at the Toasted Dragon and he always waited for me to get dropped off before he went into the restaurant to work.

I immediately noticed that something was awry with him when Ruwalk's eyes lost their ever-present sense of gaiety, which meant that he had sensed something that didn't please him.

"I saw what happened." He murmured quietly, confirming my suspicion that something was wrong. I lowered my eyes to the ground ashamedly, preparing for the lecture that I was going to receive from him. Ruwalk didn't like the fact that Shydeman and I were together and found every chance that he could get to convey his displeasure to me.

"Well, Shydeman got a bit rowdy in the car today…" I tried to explain, but was silenced by the stern look that appeared in his eyes.

"Gil, there's no excuse for this type of behavior from him! Why do you allow yourself to be hurt like this?"

I tried to come up with an answer to his question, but I couldn't, which always happened every time that I asked this. Personally, I had no idea why I stayed with him; maybe it was the fact that I knew that I couldn't get anyone better tan him or that I thought he could change? However, it was most likely the fact that I still loved him and would always love him, no matter how many times he struck me.

When he saw that I wasn't going to answer him, he began his almost daily lecture on how I deserved better than Shydeman, but suddenly stopped mid-speech, which most likely meant that he had an epiphany.

"Hey, I know! I'll set you up with-…"

"No." I had gone through this many times before I met Shydeman. Ruwalk had always set me up with some of his 'friends', which were some of the most boring, geriatric, men that I had ever met. This definitely was NOT the time for this.

"Oh, come on, Gil!" he pleaded, a sick puppy-eyed look in his amber eyes. "Let me set you up with one of my friends!"

"No way."

"Please? Sure, he's eighty years old, but…"

"W-what?" I began to laugh quietly in astonishment of his words, but stopped when Ruwalk cupped my chin and squeezed it playfully.

"Now THAT'S the Gil that I know." He said happily, letting go of my face. "Keep smiling, buddy. Now let's go inside and I'll help clean you up a bit."

If anything, this caused me to smile more that I was before, which was a new thing for me, even with my best friend by my side.

**A quick note**: I know by now, you're probably saying 'Gil+Ruwalkfriends… Nah!' (Or something like that. XD) I personally think that Bierezz would have been a better choice for this position in the story, but he wasn't the right type of person for this. I needed someone cheerful and friendly, yet could be serious when the time comes. And of course, who would fill those shoes better than Ruwalk?

Also, you're probably thinking that Shydeman would NOT let Gil go to work. Well, I think the same way. Of course, all of you know that something fishy is going on with him letting Gil go to work 'unsupervised'. You'll find out a bit later in the story. Oh yeah, the start of the GilxRaam-ness is coming up in the next chapter… -squees happily-

Now, I shall work on a new story that shall be up soon. Its tentative title is 'Road Trip!', but that will probably change. It's an AU story about the Dragon Officers and their road trip to be audience members on the 'Kharl' show. Yes, it's random and yes, it's going to be funny…hopefully…


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